OK, so the first few versions of chatbots were a complete dud.
Utter, complete, “what the f*** was that?”
OK maybe not that much.
But Facebook chatbots definitely failed to live up to their expectations. The sweeping comments such as “chatbots are the next apps” and “post-app internet” are starting to seem like distant dreams as people around the world bash their heads against walls with the very limited interaction chatbots have to offer.
Hold up though.
What are chatbots? You ask.
As The Guardian puts it, “they are glorified search boxes”. And maybe we shouldn’t have expected much in this “early-adopter” phase. There are a lot of kinks and quirks that need to be worked out. The technology is fairly new and has a long way to go. But that certainly doesn’t mean this is just a “fad” that will fade away. Chatbots are just getting started, and the internet-breaking buzz is enough to tell us they are here to stay.
In celebration of the new innovation, we have come up with our own list of endless possibilities of what chatbots could possibly “be and do” in the future. Facebook launched its own batch of chatbots last week. They cover a variety of things, including the News, the Weather, and shopping categories.
So we thought we would come up with our own batch of crazy chatbot possibilities. You might just see these at your nearest app store in the future!
The personal stylist bot
Imagine. You enter your skin tone and type. The personal stylist chatbot finds you the best match for a foundation. You enter your measurements. Your personal stylist chatbot tells you what kind of clothing suits your body-shape best. Not only does it show you the kind of clothing you can wear, but where you can buy it – at your nearest Forever 21 maybe? Heck, Forever 21 can come up with a chatbot themselves and have you guide them through their immense clothing rack giving you choices on what you need and find you something on sale.
And what if you try on the clothes and send the personal stylist chatbot a selfie of what it suggested and it Pays You Compliment.
Who needs a boyfriend?
Needed some consoling while Kobe played his last game? The sportsbot will always be there. It’s not fun when your favorite team loses and your friends point and laugh, but sportsbot will be your consoling-buddy while you drown your sorrows in cold beer. In addition to giving you the latest score, sportsbot will keep you updated about sports from around the world. Cricket anyone? Whether it’s memes of LeBron’s receding hairline or vines of the sickest goal by Messi, the sportsbot is your biggest fan.
Your virtual girlfriend/boyfriend chatbot
No luck in the love department? Cry yourself into a pillow on a nightly basis? Need someone to tell you that you look good in that dress? Have no fear, the virtual girlfriend/boyfriend chatbot is here (or yet to be made). Taking heavy inspiration from the movie “Her”, minus Scarlet Johannsson, this chatbot will fulfil all your love needs…….well….most of them.
The virtual gf/bf chatbot will pay you hourly compliments, send “I miss you” texts while you’re away from your phone, give you “good morning beautiful” messages every morning and even get jealous when you’re going out on a real date! (Too much? Well…this virtual relationship is REAL). Share your deep, dark secrets and have the chatbot pity you as you delve into a tub of walnut ice-cream. You are practically with a virtual, digital, human being. Once you find someone though, have your breakup speech prepared.
“It’s not you. It’s me.”
You guessed it. The EinsteinBot has answers to everything. From e = mc2 to migratory patterns of humpback whales, The EinsteinBot knows more than Einstein did himself. If only they allowed smartphones while writing exams, you’d be well on your way to getting that 4.0 GPA. But for all the times you wondered what condensation is but didn’t want to ask anyone (because your 8 year old nephew knows and you don’t), EinsteinBot is your mentor.
You will be the talk of the town because you have useless knowledge about the declining seagull population in Canada or useful information such as the best mobile app development platforms for your tech startup. Either way, people will be talking about you, good or bad.
Your Family PhysicianBot
So you’ve googled a bunch of symptoms and came up with brain cancer. Great. The Family PhysicianBot is there to help. Possibly dangerous, but possibly time (and) money saving, the Family PhysicianBot will give you medical advice, maybe even prescribe medication (that could go very bad).
There is a silver lining. Medical professionals from all over the world will contribute to the vast knowledge of the Family PhysicianBot, so tackling illnesses like the common cold will be a few messages away. We can’t guarantee the Family PhysicianBot will have a good bedside manner though.
Can’t handle your finances? Broke at the end of every month? Want to know your balance at all times without going to the bank? The FinanceBot will do all this and more. This chatbot will act as your personal financial guide, giving you tips on everything money. From investing your $100K in the housing market to finding out whether you have enough money to buy a new car, the FinanceBot is going to be a lifesaver.
The chatbot will also translate all that business lingo (that makes most humans suicidal) before going through with a large transaction. For literally, everything money-related, the FinanceBot is your new best friend.
And there you have it, the possibilities are of course, endless. All we have to do is be a little patient and give this technology some time. Before you know it, your soulmate and family doctor are just a few texts away. We don’t know if that’s a good thing, but we can guarantee it will get interesting. We just have to wait and watch.